it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
