i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
