The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
cat food counts as protein by the way
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
