A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
