I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
