You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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