My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
