i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
