btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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