so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
