a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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