I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
