I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i've created a new STD.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
