It's like God shit irony all over that family
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
