I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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