it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
