Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
