Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
