Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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