Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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