you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
