For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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