hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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