if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
