nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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