Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
