ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize