Do you still have your period?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
