Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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