Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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