You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
