She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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