you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
