I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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