Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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