Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize