i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
