At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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