I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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