when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize