I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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