ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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