Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
