a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
