hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
