3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
