while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
