I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
