You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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