Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have already put on my inside pants.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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