Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize