last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
