Don't make out with my wife yet
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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