Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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