At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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