Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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