How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I faked an abortion last night.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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