Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
