come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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