Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i think im in europe. pls send help
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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