kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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