You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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