yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize