So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
