I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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