he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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