that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
there is puke in my bra ... again
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