I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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