She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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