So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she peed on how many people?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
