what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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